it can't be a bad day

When you're on the recovery from a particularly boogery bout of illness and your mom wants to make you feel better, you can't help but smile when you see that she's packed a blueberry smoothie in your Vegas drinking cup. Because she wants you to drink it at work.

Love you, Mumsy!

the best restaurant in the world

This is arguably the best reason for moving back: Mumsy's home cookin'!

the tree looks different this year

Instead of our ancient angel, Mumsy decided to change things up by toppong our Christmas tree with doves from her Easter floral arrangement. Merry Birdsesque Christmas!

care package

She pretty much only has to feed herself and Johnny Cat these days but my dear mumsy is still cooking like she's feeding an army. This is my care package:

dear Outside Lands...

Dear Outside Lands music festival,

I still don't like you because you turn a 5-minute drive along the beach into a 25-minute tortuous crawl, you leave mounds of drug-laced feces in the park, and you sell yourself as the concert for everyone while charging a kidney for a ticket and the firstborn child in the family for a taste of SF's so-called best food and drink. Good thing you only come around once a year, right?

Well, I must admit that you are growing on me. Oh you are still self-righteously expensive and I won't be taking any walks in the park until the Department of Public Works has cleaned up Lindley Meadow, but I must say that something magical has happened this year. Traffic along the beach is not the monstrosity I expected, and I thank you for that. Perhaps I am just lucky, perhaps it is now bumper-to-bumper agony as I sit in my comfy home and type away. The parking lots at the beach are packed for such a nice foggy day but the roads are moving, and that's what matters.

Traffic along Ocean Beach was such a non-issue today that I had time to stop by the supermarket and pick up a few things for my mom. Oh sure, she's much closer to Safeway than I am but she doesn't like to leave the house on "dirty hippie weekend." Hey, you can't win them all.

dog days

My mom lives in her very own animal house. Here's the story:

1. Oddjob has a dog named Lulu (formerly Lola.) Really, my dad and his wife have a dog, and sometimes Oddjob walks her. No matter, Popsy, Oddjob, and family needed a dogsitter for their vacation. Mumsy volunteered.

2. Mumsy just acquired a dog of her own less than two weeks ago.

3. Mumsy already has two cats roaming around the house: Johnny "Mochiball" Cat and visiting cat Beefy.

So for about a week, she has never been alone! Some snapshots of Lulu's meeting with the others and playtime between Lulu and Soleil...

Lulu meets Beefy and Oddjob is delighted...

Soleil enjoying the sunshine...

... and dragging all her toys outside to join her.

Johnny and Beefy survey the doggone scene...

Mochiball is not happy!

The two dogs looking up at me on the deck...

Chow time for Beefy...

The girls play-bicker over a bone...

We haven't had four animals in the house (counting the visiting cat Beefy) for quite a while. Mumsy is finally remembering why we didn't want that many pets again.

what not to do: solar eclipse

As Mumsy and I drove around this afternoon, we saw lots of people gathering outside to try and watch the annular solar eclipse. Some experts had telescopes (hope they used a solar filter.) Others went low-tech with colanders on garage doors or homemade pinhole cameras taller than the children looking into the box.

And then there's my mom, who thinks that wearing two pairs of sunglasses will allow her to safely view the eclipse.

Ingenious?

She never listens to me. And I love her, but not for that.

the replacement

A long time ago in a land far far away, before scandals of anti-Semitic career-enders and domestic abuse, Mel Gibson was the go-to man for a certain mother I know and love. But Mel fell out of grace a long time ago.

Mumsy references Chef Fabio Viviani so much that maybe he's the new dreamboat... or maybe she just likes clicking on his web show Chow Ciao! because it's property of Yahoo and Mumsy's homepage is Yahoo. Whatever the case, the emergence of Fabio in my mother's life has brought an abundance of even more delicious food, and I don't have to cook!

One delicious dinner:

Chicken piccata with marsala sauce
and Fabio's Italian mac 'n' cheese

I can see why Mumsy loves watching the web show... Fabio is talented, couples delicious food with simple explanations, and always has a funny anecdote or two about being Italian. For instance...

To be honest, I never had this [marsala sauce] in Italy, well not too often, 'cause my grandpa used to drink the marsala needed to make this recipe. So you can't do this when my grandpa's around 'cause he's gonna knock off the marsala.

Click on the chicken piccata link below the photo and skip to 4:20 to hear it yourself.

The accent isn't too heavy and Fabio is quite the looker, too!

"I know you like mac 'n' cheese," says Mumsy. "So I made two pans."

Genius!

a near-forgotten gem

from last week...

Mom: You know, peas are my favorite kind of bean because they don't give me (insert random symptom here.)

Me: That's because they're not beans; they're vegetables.

Mom: They look like beans, like the things that pop out of green beans.

Oh, the convoluted story of the pea!

nobody does it better

A few more of Mumsy's holiday pearls of joy:

1. Christmas Eve dinner, as inspired by Mom's new favorite chef Fabio Viviani...

bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin alla porchetta
(stuffed with parsley, breadcrumbs, and a little cheese)

mascarpone cheed mashed potatoes and really good brussel sprouts...
Mumsy cooked all of the bitterness right out of these fellas.
Notice how everything is topped with bacon... yum!

2. Christmas dinner, also inspired by Fabio (not the fantastically gorgeous model with Rapunzel hair!)

Cornish hens, dressed with bacon to stay moist

Chef Fabio's super macheroni with mozzarella, fontina, and parmesan.
Then classic green bean casserole done right (noted!)
And my whoopie pies...
seems like marshmallow cream doesn't have a lot of fans in the house.

3. Stuffing a stocking. Yes, my mother sure knows how to stuff a stocking, and it's not coal.

"I had to stuff it!" Mumsy exclaimed. She is too funny

Was your Christmas funnier or tastier?

oh tannenbaum

There are too many things that a mother can always do better than her children. For one...

This is what a young adult's Christmas tree might look like:

Small space needs small tree

This is how my mother decorates the tree... doing it right:

It's easy to make your tree look classy when you stock up on ornaments
after Christmas. That's when the whole collection is on sale!

Why are the stockings hung on the bottom branches? Because the sofa is blocking the mantel. Happy holidays!

the big eat

It's time to be thankful for all the things you have instead of focusing on the stuff you don't. For example, after years of wondering "why!?" I am thankful for my very unique human family. And I'll always be thankful for good friends, little animals you can hold in your arms, and hot food. You can have everything you want but without gratitude, your life is empty.

Now on to that hot food!

I brought a "low-quality" green bean casserole and well-liked whoopie pies, Tater brought a smooth pumpkin cheesecake and bomb cream puffs, and Mumsy cooked EVERYTHING else...

the green bean casserole... I'll only make this for myself from now on!

whoopie pies! I made the whoopies and both cocolate and vanilla buttercreams
but each whoopie pie here was assembled by my boy, Gato

the whoopie pies and Tater's smooth delicious cheesecake

nut-crusted rib-eye... because we don't eat a lot of turkey at Thanksgiving.

Alaskan salmon and horsereadish cracker apps (as in appetizer)

mashed potatoes with chives and wasabi-crab endive scoops

baby new potatoes topped with sour cream and chives,
topped again with caviar.
When Mumsy is hosting, there is no such thing as too much food.

the turkey... pretty juicy for a 16-pounder

We also got to watch Johnny Cat socialize with a new cat in town - Moon, Sisterfriend's new kitty.

Johnny Cat doesn't like photos

guarding the pass 

but Moon is already on someone's lap!

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was as calorie-laden as ours!

my food looks bigger

Headed over to Focaccia for lunch on Wednesday with the section... the salad line is still daunting so I elected to get a sandwich... at $6.95, this gargantuan is no trifling matter.

Still large after eating half!

I made a caprese plus: fresh mozzarella and tomatoes paired with rich mortadella, pickles, and pepperoncini. Pile it all on Focaccia's focaccia bread and finish with the balsamic dressing and voila! You have un panino!

fresh mozzarella really makes the difference

I should frequent this joint more often!

As if large bready sandwiches weren't enough, Mumsy decided to take a leaf out of chef Fabio's book and made gigantic meatballs with ricotta cheese. The ricotta makes the meatball creamier, my mom makes the meatball bigger:

a meatball to end all meatballs

No wonder I eat so much.

problems of a city mom

My mom and I had made plans to brunch together Saturday morning. Before I left my house, my mother sent me a warning. I apologize for the blurriness but my mobile phone is too old to send things to e-mail addresses.

If you are near by the house don't come in.
there is jehovah's witness outside.

Because listening to a pair of elderly women running their mouth about how only ten thousand or so people get into heaven is a sure way to ruin your Saturday morning.

Soon after, Mumsy sent the following message: Safe!

Crisis averted!

nothing beats Mom's cooking

nothing!

Not even when she burns the beef... it still tastes good.

Mumsy's beef stew... not to be mistaken for my beouf bourguignon
since Mumsy HATES grease.
Even after I skim off the bacon fat it's too fatty.

Nice and hearty, made with little beef cubes and an abundance of red wine. And the burning of the beef earlier? It added a smoky flavor to the stew... how ingenious!

Talk about magical mom powers.

Mumsy and her selective love of nature

Mumsy and I headed over to Stern Grove today to see the San Francisco Ballet perform short programs. Between the two of us we had packed plenty of blankets and food to keep us comfortable. We arrived nearly three hours before the show to secure seats and decided on a center stage spot with a bit of an obstruction...

"Andante Sostenuto"

Joan Boada in "7 for Eight"

"Symphony in C"

The important thing is that Mumsy - who sat just to my left - had a clear view of the entire middle of the stage.  Though that didn't stop her from devising ways to improve on the experience...

Mumsy: "They should cut down that ugly tree, then tons of people could see better."
codeOrange: "I think the point of a grove is to have trees."
Mumsy: "But not that ugly one. If we can get everyone to play along, somebody should go snip off those two branches."

And get arrested!

Also very important was our superbly organized picnic:

fried chicken, deli sandwiches, fresh fruit, gazpacho, tater chips, chocolate, and white wine!

Liked the show a lot more than I thought I would... I guess I can appreciate ballet more than when I was a preteen dozing of in my seat at the Balanchine Festival!

whatever Mom wants

whether it be fancy perfume or fast food, if she wants it, she gets it! And for today's dinner she specifically requested Popeye's spicy chicken!

Louisiana... fast! The Fillmore-Webster mini plaza

Overheard some enlightening words at Popeye's today... "don't give me that Mother's Day crap! I told my children that EVERYDAY is Mother's Day! You better do something nice everyday!"

Spicy fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, red beans and rice, biscuits, and a classy bottle of Vinho Verde.
Oh, and a single cob of corn for my mom.

"How is it that good-tasting food is bad for you?" Mumsy asked about her biscuit. "Good food should taste good and bad food should taste bad!"

Me: "So then alcohol would still be bad for you, because it's bitter?"

She only smiled. You can't have it both ways, Mom!

The Popeye's grub attracted one of my favorite visitors... the neighbor's cat Beefy!

Beefy chows down... on cat food!

Q-tip savors the flavor

JohnnyCat oversees all... he is very territorial

Overall a low-key but happy Mother's Day. Love you, Mumsy!

cinco de mayo, amigos

There's no better way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo - America's favorite Mexican holiday - than going to your mom's house for food and drink.

My brother and I had fun educating our mom about the big day, but it would have been just as fun letting her believe what she thought beforehand:

• Mexico was already colonized in the 1800's?
• They fought the French?
• Napoleon is not an old man?

And it wasn't just limited to the Battle of Pueblo:

• Bin Laden used to work for the CIA?
• Didn't he get his weapons from North Korea? We like to sell that sort of stuff to crazy people.

Or newsworthy facts, for that matter:

• Most Korean people have kimchi faces but I have a steak face.
• I like that new Lady Gaga song, "Born this way..." The beat is very addictable.
• Q-Tip is so noisy, always going in and out of the covers. I think I'll put him in a soundproof box with a tiny little airhole, and that airhole will face the window.
• A cozy bathroom is one where you can sit on the toilet and fall asleep.

On top of the hilarity, the food was unsurprisingly outstanding. Crab, steak, and my mom's version of shrimp tacos (shrimp and onions cooked in pepper, plus lettuce, avocados, a cucumber-tomato-lime mix, and salsa.) No rice or beans... but my brother did make strawberry margaritas, and I brought over some dulce de leche whoopie pies...

that dulce de leche cream just doesn't want to stay between those graham cracker whoopies

Of course, super-huge fail to snap pictures before we started eating. And it wasn't pretty after eating. That's how we roll.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, amigos!

it's ham-mer time

Nothing says Easter like eating ham (I'm not sure why.) So I grabbed my little dog and told him "we're off to grandma's," grandma being my mom. Hey, she said it first!

my mom wasted no time feeding my skinny little Q-tip some bread and butter :/

her powers have worked on Johnny Cat, who is no longer as slim as the kitty litter mascot that bears his name

Veterinary health aside, it's always fun spending time with my mom. Our get-togethers typically include a bit of cleaning, a lot of hilarious and honest conversation, and about forty minutes of watching silly videos of animals and children online. Today we even took Q-tip for a short walk in Sutro Park!

Sutro Park offers the best view of the Great Highway and the northern end of Ocean Beach

Q-tip takes in the fresh air

it's pretty quiet at the beach for such a sunny day

But of course, nothing tops my mom's cooking. Feast your eyes on our luncheon, starring rosemary-glazed ham!

our smorgasboard

nom!

Happy Easter everybody!