the Oscars

Eating bacon-wrapped scallops, loaded potatoes, and other goodies while enjoying Seth MacFarlane hosting the Oscars. Kate Winslet, we saw your boobs!

No dumpling making in my future

Unless you look at is as "art," there's definitely no professional dumpling making in my future.

my greatest creation yet

I think I finally got this blogger app working again. Which means it's time to play catch up... from about two weeks ago...

A pile of whoopie pies, some with chocolate buttercream and some with my brand new speculoos cookie filling! Just blend some of Trader Joe's cookie butter with a little crisco to make the spread more spreadable and voila! A delicious whoopie pie that tastes a bit like a s'more.

And while we're still sitting at the table, why not show off the new color of the heart on my nail?

Not for dogs

After driving some friends home I returned to a crime scene: caprese skewer on the floor... puff pastry bits in the hallway... did Soleil lap up some rum punch?

the results

All in all I cooked the beef for 1 hour and 40 minutes, with a 10-minute warm-up right before serving. It was cooked perfectly for that moment, then started cooling down fast.

As I pondered aloud over the dinner table, it was as if I had nudged someone through a doorway but they had barely crossed it and the tip of their buttocks was still in the threshold. I needed to just kick that beef clear across the other side.

No biggie, that's what microwaves are for!

The ribeye roast dinner was supported by green bean casserole, shrimp pasta (which also needed to be heated up a bit more,) roasted potatoes with bacon, and s'mores whoopie pies. Not bad for my first Christmas dinner as captain of the kitchen.

The good thing about slightly undercooking the food is that your reheated leftovers are fantastic!

just checking

Judging by the color revealed by my gaping slash, the beef could use another 20 minutes or so in the oven. More time to think of a potato dish!

don't waste that hour

Have you been napping leisurely for the past hour? Then how will your side dishes get done? Why, in one hour, you could've...

...assembled the beginnings of a green bean casserole...

...cooked shrimp and simmered pasta sauce...

...whipped up graham cracker whoopie pies and two frostings so that the dessert is ready to be assembled.

But enough of that, let's check on the ribeye roast!

the easy part

When it's about 2 hours before your estimated eating time, drizzle a little extra virgin olive oil on top and pop the roast into a 400 degree oven. Set the timer for one hour... and pop open some wine to celebrate your hard work.

Emeril would call this "getting happy"

Now that the beef is trimmed and resting ever so nicely on a pan with aluminum foil, rub the beast with a mixture of salt and freshly ground pepper. Let it sit until about 2 hours before dinner.

enlist help

When the beef has defrosted, take my mom's advice and get someone else to trim the fat (unless you are already comfortable with this sort of knifework.) Here, my big brother lends a hand.

begin test

Since this year Mumsy is catsitting her "grandcats" in LA, I'm cooking Christmas dinner on my own.

Well, Mumsy left directions for the prime rib, and I'm sure my brother will help trim the fat.

Still, I am the captain of this unsettled ship sailing for tasty waters. Step 1: defrost the whole beef ribeye in a pot of water because we didn't start last night and it is huge. It is now soaking in the huge pot we use for clam bakes.

the best restaurant in the world

This is arguably the best reason for moving back: Mumsy's home cookin'!

Twinkie time

Last week I took my first crack at making twinkies. I was so proud I forgot to blog about it! Call these next few posts the Lost Pages...

The recipe is from this imitation expert who experiments to create the best doppelganger recipes. I started by beating the eggs whites for a long time... maybe 8 minutes with my hand mixer. You want to get the stiff peaks out of the egg whites.

Pound cake mix and water are blended...

then the egg whites are gently folded in.

Molds are crafted out of aluminum foil.

Bake! For about 30 minutes.

While baking, I made the marshmallow filling. It's similar to a whoopie pie's filling and is based on marshmallow fluff.

I don't have any decorating tips or the patience to fill the twinkies properly so I made twinkie sandwiches instead. Cut them in half lengthwise and spread that cream!

These are pretty good and everyone who had one loved it. But I am always pushing for twinkie excellence. Though spongy, these homemade twinkies still felt dense. Should I beat the eggs longer next time?

the difference

I baked my usual chocolate on chocolate whoopie pies... but added rainbow sprinkles for the potluck at work! Now I can finally wear clothes that match my food!

Must improve on the purple sprinkles because that color does not pop against brown. Good to know for food decorating and human dressing purposes.

fight the chills with beef

It's finally getting cold in San Francisco, and that means one thing for my kitchen: it's beouf bourguignon season.

bring it on, wintertime!

I am proud to say that I can now make this without propping open the December 2010 issue of Martha Stewart Living!

dogs on money

Hello, this is Soleil. As you can see I'm wearing a Giants jersey. That's because I love everything my human likes, and she's a big Giants fan.

You'll also notice that I'm at home instead of the game. This is not because I am a dog - at least I don't think that's the reason. It's because the prices for these post-season games are crazy! The face value to stand is in the ballpark of $68! Excuse me but that's a lot of steak I'm giving up. For $68 I need a steak, a chew toy, and a nice secure place to curl up.

So instead of going to the Game 1 of the NLCS, my human took the money and threw a viewing party. There was soda, beer, guacamole, garlic fries, mini tacos, tomato-mozzarella sticks, whoopie pies, and lots of chicken wings... I stole a lot of those. And on top of that, my human's friends brought other tasty treats.

The cost was well under $68, which means nothing to me since I am a dog but there you go!

The game was pretty amazing - I loved it when the Giants batted in 4 runs in one inning. But I wish they would've used the money my human saved to score a few more. I hate the Cardinals... well I think I hate all birds but I definitely hate the Cardinals!

date night

Last Friday was Tater and Muddy's engagement celebration, and though he wasn't invited, it was held at the Cheers-like bar/restaurant of my ex. He didn't show (amazing! he used to be there every Friday night like clockwork) but I was relieved. Until I got to talking with a few of his friends; now I have doubts about the veracity of his reasons for breaking up.

And all of this made me think of him throughout the weekend, which I haven't done since thirty minutes after he broke up with me back in June. And then I started wondering... is there something wrong with me? I know, relationship fail.

But no, there's nothing wrong with me (nothing major, anyways!) And if you don't like what I am, then get lost! And whether or not what he told me is true doesn't matter (because if it's true, he's the idiot we all know he is and if it's false, then he's a liar... don't need those in my life.)

And it got me thinking about some awkward patterns in my colorful dating history. "When is the last time someone bought me flowers?" I thought as I was grocery shopping. "When is the last time a date showed up with flowers at the door?"

February 2011. Doesn't sound like such a long time but that is six males and five first dates ago.

So I decided to take myself on a date and bought myself flowers. And a baby deer table knick-knack at $5 to make myself really smile. I cooked beefy pasta with lots of garlic, opened a bottle of pinot grigio (because matching your wine to your pasta is really not necessary,) and spread some fashion inspiration on the table. Oh yeah, get out the romantic tealight candle because tonight is the season premiere of Season 2 of Revenge and I love that shamelessly juicy saga of a girl taking matters into her own hands. Go on Emily, get 'em!

Flowers... is that so much to ask? I should've known that he-who-blows-up-my-toilet doesn't deserve me.

Cheesy fail

Sur la Table was selling a DIY mozzarella kit at abour $10 less than the kit at Williams-Sonoma. What can I say, I certainly couldn't pass up a chance to make my own cheese!

Things started out okay... I warmed up a gallon of milk and added the citric acid and rennet as directed. But maybe the milk cooked too long, maybe I stirred things too much, but whatever I ended up with, it sure wasn't cheese.

The kit...

The gallon...

The agents...

The whey...

The curds...

The fail...

I'll stick to buying my mozzarella from the store!

summertime

Ever since I was a child, nothing has signaled the beginning of summer like the end of school, bowls overflowing with strawberries, and a thick coating of fog enveloping my neighborhood.

Well, I've been out of school for four years now and the fog has finally pushed its way through this heat wave. The strawberries have been plentiful as they always peak around my birthday but they're even sweeter when a surplus arrives at the store and they go on sale for $1 per pound.

However, surplus strawberries aren't always perfect. What to do when some of the bunch are not as firm as you'd like? Turn them into a smoothie! You can't tell the original texture when it's liquefied!

I like to mix my strawberries with unflavored yogurt, the nice and tangy kind. Right now I'm loving French Village yogurt from Trader Joe's but use any that you prefer. Sometimes I add a few blackberries to the mix but not too much; blackberries have a strong flavor and a little goes a long way.

Before...

... and after!

if it ain't broke, don't fix it

So my first attempt at homemade marshmallows failed... instead of pillowy soft masses of delight, I created vanilla-flavored gelatin squares. No one eats vanilla jello, they eat vanilla pudding. It was a huge disappointment and only added to the stress of the workday.

I thought about trying again tonight. I even stopped by the supermarket and bought a new pack of gelatin. But you know what? When you mix unflavored gelatin with water, it sort of smells like stinky feet. Just in case you weren't convinced that gelatin is made from the hooves of our cloven friends, just sniff it.

After a touch of debate with myself, I decided to create something I knew I wouldn't fail miserably at: whoopie pies! Tonight I tried a new flavor: hazelnut whoopie pies with honey buttercream. I added a touch of cinnamon and ground ginger to the whoopie cakes but I didn't taste any of the spices... probably because my tongue is numb with sugar from tasting the buttercream!

If you have yet to taste roasted hazelnuts, I highly recommend you jump on that train. Now.