sickening!

That's what Ru said!

Season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race premiered tonight and it was truly sickening, in the best way possible. New queens, new attitudes, and new styles clashed with the zombie drag queens of seasons past. Now that I can watch these sassy ladyboys serve up realness and shade, I look forward to Mondays.

courtesy of google image search

No one can pull off a gold bodysuit like Ru!

the simple things

It's all about the simple things... like creating the perfect salad out of bits and pieces of other salads recipes and suggestions I pored over last year (Martha Stewart and Nigella Lawson come to mind.)

For a long time I was not a big fan of salads... it seemed like a lot of work for raw food. All of the washing, chopping, slicing so that all the elements are the same size and shape... it just wasn't for me. I mean, college me was perfectly happy to roast a couple of potatoes and call it a day.

But now that I've been cooking almost everyday for about two years, I've started making more and more salads. I think it also helps that I now live very close to an outstanding produce store that sells the most delicious blood oranges outside of Sicily.

my happy salad

The goods: blackberries, blueberries, blood orange segments, sliced avocado, sliced red onion, and chunks of fresh mozzarella with a squeeze of lime. All delicious tastes and textures... tangy, creamy, zippy, rich and fatty brightened with citrus. This makes a good topper over a bed of lettuce but I prefer it as is.

a near-forgotten gem

from last week...

Mom: You know, peas are my favorite kind of bean because they don't give me (insert random symptom here.)

Me: That's because they're not beans; they're vegetables.

Mom: They look like beans, like the things that pop out of green beans.

Oh, the convoluted story of the pea!

melanzana alla parmigiana

that's exactly what it is!

A sudden hankering for eggplant parmigiana led me to buy the ingredients over the weekend. It's been a while since I've cooked this but I used to make it so frequently that no written recipe is needed. This is all from memory:

Slice up some old bread (I used two-thirds of a three-day old garlic demi-baguette from Trader Joe's... I don't recommend using anything much older.)

Blend in a blender or food processor, if you're fancy.

And voila! Easy peezy homemade breadcrumbs!

Slice up an eggplant, about one-quarter inch wide.

Slowly begin heating up the oil... I used a mix of canola oil and olive oil, since olive oil splatters pretty nasty when hot. Also, if you're using olive oil to fry, use the regular stuff. Extra virgin olive oil is not for frying!

While you're at it, get out your casserole dish and preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

Prepare the breading station! Whisk two eggs into a bowl and set out a plate or two for flour and the breadcrumbs you made.

Dredge the eggplant slices in flour first...

... then the eggs...

... and lastly, the breadcrumbs. Gently press down on the eggplant with your fingers or a fork to press the flour and breadcrumbs in.

Before you start frying anything, make sure the oil is hot. Eggplant, like Spongebob Squarepants, is super absorbent and will soak up insufficiently hot oil. Drop a breadcrumb into the pan. If it sizzles, you're ready to load in a few slices. These babies only need to fry for 2-3 minutes before flipping.

Meanwhile, coat the casserole dish with some pasta sauce... much easier than making a sauce from scratch and much tastier than plain old tomato paste. I used spicy arrabbiata for an extra kick of tastiness.

You can also use this time to slice up anything you'll be layering between the eggplant and sauce. You will need some fresh mozzarella cheese. I added four sliced tomatoes, though these aren't traditionally included in parmigiana.

Use a fork to lift up and check the fried side of the eggplant. Make sure it's golden brown before you flip!

Once both sides have been browned, lay slices of fried eggplant on the bottom of the dish. Layer mozzarella and extras as you please.

Add some more sauce and repeat!

When you've filled the dish or run out of eggplant, prepare the parmigiana for baking. Make sure the top layer is mozzarella and sauce, then pop the plate in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the cheese has satisfactorily melted.

Let it cool for a few minutes, then go crazy.

Mangia!

bad fans

Poor Kyle Williams! The 49er feels bad enough for the fumbles he played during Sunday's NFC playoff game.

And now, on the evening news, it is reported that Kyle Williams has received threatening tweets. Even worse, some of the threats are also directed towards his family.

What is wrong with these people? Is this the Saddam Hussein-era Iraq that punished their soccer players when they lose a game? Is this Viking-filled Scandinavia where people seek out blood payment by targeting innocent family members? I mean, damn, are we not in San Francisco?

It was already embarrassing when a fight between 49ers and Raiders fans broke out in Candlestick Park in August. Given the great improvement the 49ers have forged this year, death tweets are no way to end the season.

break with tradition

Lunar New Year strikes tomorrow but being a sensible family, if the holiday doesn't land on a weekend, we celebrate the weekend immediately preceding the other new year.

In addition, my dad usually takes us to South Sea Seafood Village on Irving Street. However, Yeye had an urge to eat the deep-fried Bloomin' Onion from Outback, so that's where we went.

Yeye can't wait to dig in

Between the cheering fans watching the 49ers-Giants game at the bar and the Onion, it was a very different Lunar New Year. Granted, South Sea Seafood Village also has a TV but you rarely hear a burst of huzzahs at the place.

But when you think about it, I guess the greasiness of Onion is on par with some of the dishes at South Sea Seafood Village. It tastes so good - dipped in a slightly spicy batter and fried to perfect crispiness - but it is so bad for you... and now it's especially scary since Outback posts the calories of each dish on the menu. Nearly 2000 calories for the Bloomin' Onion! Oh man, and Dad ordered the Aussie Cheese Fries, too... that's another just-under-2000-calories plate.

Enter the Year of the Dragon... with an onion.

and now for a bit of self-promotion...

Hello!

After much contemplation, I've decided to try and make this lifestyle blog a little less crazy. The solution: a spin-off blog that catalogues my travels, both recent and not-so-recent. The blog will also announce travel deals when I or my friends see them and oh-so-handy tips for traveling abroad. Friends, Romans, countrymen, I give you I hella went there!

overlooking one of the Amazon's tributaries over Tarapoto

Get on over, fellow journeymen!

they really mean spicy

It's not the actual roll that's spicy!

Took a stroll over to Chaat Cafe in Crocker Galleria for lunch and ordered the indulgently tasty Chicken Tikka Masala Rolls... for $7.49 you get two portions of chicken and tikka masala curry wrapped in flatbread and fried to golden crunchy goodness. The rolls are so filling that I usually just eat one and save the other for dinner.

rolls!

so savory... it's umami-time!

Now everyone knows that tikka masala usually isn't spicy, and it's true, the rolls are not the spicy element in this lunch. At Chaat Cafe, rolls come with a side of either salad or spicy potato salad. How spicy can potato salad be? Potato salad always has some sort of fatty cream (be it mayonnaise, sour cream, or some sort of fresh cheese) to soothe any fiery substances. Potato salad is delicious but, well, safe.

To my surprise, Chaat Cafe really does serve up a spicy potato salad. It doesn't hit you straight away; the spice is the aftertaste. But it is a hefty spice, not to be trifled with like your usual potato salads. Eater beware... or enjoy! After filling up my gigantic sippy cup at the faucet, I finished the rest of the potato salad. The magic of spicy foods worked like magic and I was not hungry until a full eight hours later.

new game

So yes, it turns out that the family in Lima did some serious remodeling since March and now they have a great big office in their house. With a computer. Connected to the Internet. WAES HAIL!

So I´ve been thinking about the wondrous place that is Peru and all the patterns I saw in my first visit that are resurfacing this time. And you know, whenever you see a lot of patterns, somebody decides to go and make a drinking game out of it, though usually these games arise out of the necessity to make something atrocious or fringe-alicious a bit more bearable to normal people. Hey, sometimes even well-loved phenomena get turned into drinking games.

Since Peru is a lovely country with so much to see and respect, so many happy people to talk to, and so much damn good food, this drinking game is created out of sheer reverence for the country that has everything - except a president we can agree on (nobody´s perfect.) So let me strike first for the Peru Drinking Game!

Now I could just kill you all with one simple rule...

1. Take a drink everytime I say "sí" because I don´t know what else to say.

But in order for this to really work, we´d need a video of everything I do in Peru, and with my low-tech skills, that´s just not going to happen. But I can edit this to apply to almost anyone´s adventure in Peru.

1. Take a drink everytime a man at the airport approaches you asking "¿Taxi?"
2. Take a drink everytime a little kid yells ¡Mira! And then you had better look at whatever the kid is pointing at.
3. Take a drink everytime a nice old lady refuses your ayuda because she can handle it herself.
4. Take a drink everytime your food comes with potatoes.
5. Take a drink everytime you pass by a polleria, a restaurant that serves the famous pollo a la brasa. You should eat some, too.
6. Take a drink everytime somebody says the food is rico or riquissimo. No one says "delicioso" in Peru. NO ONE.
7. Take a drink everytime you see somebody drinking Inka Kola (it´s a yellow-colored bubblegum-flavored soda, hard to miss.) I´m guessing that it´s an acquired taste and I certainly haven´t acquired it. Feel free to wash it down with chicha morada.
8. Take a drink everytime you think your driver is going to get into a car accident. Don´t worry, he won´t.
9. Take a drink everytime you go over a speed bump.
10. Take a drink everytime you see someone wearing a plastic poncho at Machu Picchu, Aguas Calientes, Ollantaytambo, or Cuzco.
11. Finish the drink if it is a poncho made of alpaca wool!
12. Take a drink everytime you see someone wearing a wool cap with earflaps. They´re quite common, also knit of alpaca wool, and usually come in awesome neon colors. They´re not a bad souvenir.
13. Finish your drink anytime you see someone collapse from altitude sickness (common at Lake Titicaca and Machu Picchu.)
14. Take a drink everytime a strange man calls you amor preciosa or hits on you obvious enough that you know he´s hitting on you (sorry, this rule will almost always apply to ladies only.)
15. Finish your drink if, after saying you have a boyfriend in America, he asks if you would like a Peruvian boyfriend.
16. Take a drink everytime a taxi driver or taxibike honks at you, whether it´s to get out of the way (drivers are impatient here) or holler.
17. If you´re visiting the north of Peru (Trujillo and up) take a drink everytime someone says cheliamos. Appropriately enough, it means "we drink beer."
18. Take a drink anytime your tour guide says that the number one industry in the local area is now tourism, and feel guilty about it!
19. Take a drink everytime a couple ogles you at the Parque del Amor in Miraflores District, Lima.

Hmm, that´s it for now. I´ll have to add some rules for Trujillo and the Amazon later but it already looks like any willing player is going to end up one borracho loco.

and la chingra sets off again

Tomorrow's the big day when I board a plane for Lima once more. This trip is not to see Machu Picchu or Lake Titicaca (done!) This time, it's all about the beaches and seeing new cities and the Amazon.

Oh yeah, and the food.

Unfortunately I am not returning to Peru in the ideal state I wanted to. Exercise fell by the wayside and I'm a little jigglier. I haven't picked up my Spanish book in months and will only review whatever I can before I fall asleep. And I can't remember whether or not I needed an outlet adapter for South America.

But everything will turn out for the best, right? After all, that Peruvian food has a most wondrous and magical property: in Peru, the more you eat, the slimmer you get.

After much heaving and squishing, I was able to stuff almost everything in my Patagonia super-duffle. Why so much trouble? Because my dear friend Gambrinus sent two boxes of clothes to bring to her family. This was all on top of the small (and I mean small) gifts I had prepared for the kids there as well as the gear I'll need to travel chingra-style. Now that the hard part is over, I can fully appreciate how much crap this bag can hold. I am seriously impressed.

ready to burst!
This might be one of those times
when I return with lighter luggage!

As a tip for fellow travelers, when you stay in someone's home, it's nice to spend some of that money you saved on a hotel room for a little something for your host. I love bringing picture books of San Francisco because photos are appreciated in any language. I also like to share some San Francisco food specialties... it's not easy packing cans of Boudin's clam chowder, or getting fresh crab from Fisherman's Wharf past customs but Ghiradelli chocolate was well-received last time, so why not again!

I left my heart...

Tastes vary but most Latin Americans I know can't get enough of caramel flavors. Pack accordingly!

Another note about traveling in Latin America... it's common to not have daily access to the Internet. My e-mail use will be intermittent at best, which is fine since I will be out sun-worshiping and jungle-exploring. So adios until I return to the States!

nobody does it better

A few more of Mumsy's holiday pearls of joy:

1. Christmas Eve dinner, as inspired by Mom's new favorite chef Fabio Viviani...

bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin alla porchetta
(stuffed with parsley, breadcrumbs, and a little cheese)

mascarpone cheed mashed potatoes and really good brussel sprouts...
Mumsy cooked all of the bitterness right out of these fellas.
Notice how everything is topped with bacon... yum!

2. Christmas dinner, also inspired by Fabio (not the fantastically gorgeous model with Rapunzel hair!)

Cornish hens, dressed with bacon to stay moist

Chef Fabio's super macheroni with mozzarella, fontina, and parmesan.
Then classic green bean casserole done right (noted!)
And my whoopie pies...
seems like marshmallow cream doesn't have a lot of fans in the house.

3. Stuffing a stocking. Yes, my mother sure knows how to stuff a stocking, and it's not coal.

"I had to stuff it!" Mumsy exclaimed. She is too funny

Was your Christmas funnier or tastier?

not quite as epic as 2011 years ago

And so it was... after spilling spoonful after spoonful of cocoa powder, fixing the cursed oven door of doom, and trudging through the laundry detour as produced by the nefarious Havanese Q-Tip, I finally made a few classic whoopie pies:

chocolate with marshmallow cream

Merry Christmas everybody!

it's efficient!

After the culinary phenomenon that is Beachside Cafe's chicken and waffles, I decided it was high time I returned for the much-praised Bacon Waffle. What is this, a waffle with some special bacon on top? Maybe the bacon is chopped up and swirled into the batter? Maybe it's just a bacon-flavored waffle (if Spain can make jamón-flavored potato chips, then why not bacon-flavored waffles?)

This is the ingenious little slice of heaven:

Look closely!
There are a few rashers of bacon lodged within the waffle!

I have had chocolate-bacon pancakes before with maple syrup but this dish is a little better. For one, I made the pancakes using a store mix while these were crafted by the masters at Beachside Cafe. The texture of the waffle is far superior - crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside - to the consistency of a pancake, which always comes out heavy when I make it... maybe that's unfair since I'm no expert. But there is definitely a lot more bacon in this bacon waffle, and it's very good smoky bacon. With elements this pure and good - smoky bacon, perfect waffle, creamy butter, and maple syrup - there's no need to add chocolate. Sorry pancakes!

Feast your eyes upon the bacon in my waffle!

this waffle was just born this way!

Do you see that bacon lodges inside the crispy and tender waffle? Do you understand the implications of this delicious innovation? Okay, maybe I'm going too far - this waffle is not going to save the world - but it is VERY good. Beachside Cafe can put another feather in its hat of extraordinary breakfast, at friendly prices to boot.

work-around

Q-Tip is a very peculiar dog... He is the only creature I know who gives himself sores. I know it's unpleasant so I won't go into detail but he's been licking his hind paws a lot. This results in some mightily irritated feet.

Yesterday I went to Petco Unleashed at Westlake and saw that someone had ingeniously thought of footwear for dogs during colder weather. They were sold out of the Pugz Pet Boots (too cute!) but I didn't need outdoor shows for him. What I needed was something with more flexibility so Q-Tip could curl into any twisted pose he might want and nap peacefully. What I found were these awesome dog socks!

Fancy socks, eh?

For when intermittent paw-washing and treatment is not enough, put socks on your dog and call it a day!

tasty they are

It's time I put this present to use!

a very epic cast of cookies

Have a very, er, Forceful Christmas? And a Jedi New Year?

On another note, doesn't my Missoni tray look great?

oh tannenbaum

There are too many things that a mother can always do better than her children. For one...

This is what a young adult's Christmas tree might look like:

Small space needs small tree

This is how my mother decorates the tree... doing it right:

It's easy to make your tree look classy when you stock up on ornaments
after Christmas. That's when the whole collection is on sale!

Why are the stockings hung on the bottom branches? Because the sofa is blocking the mantel. Happy holidays!

happy endings

The perfect ending to a dinner in the Mission is a trip to Bi-Rite Creamery by Dolores Park...

pick your sweet poison

kid in a candy store

tonight's choice: honey lavender and salted caramel

The salted caramel is always good and most likely the flavor that put this creamery on the map. Sweet but not overly sweet, with a hint of burnt sugar that gives the ice cream an incredible richness. So yummy.

Honey lavender was my experiment of the night and it was quite nice. I thought the lavender overpowered the honey - after all, lavender is a strong scent. I was initially wary of this flavor as I have found that I don't like eating rose-flavored anything but Tater promised that Bi-Rite's honey lavender was top notch. And I have to agree: even though the lavender overshadows the honey, the ice cream is refreshing and strangely therapeutic.

But don't give lavender all the credit! After all, we are eating ice cream...

tilt!

keep it authentic, please!

Since Cabbage was in town, the old gang hit up some of her favorite places, including Limón Rotisserie. The flavors are still dancing circles around our tongues and leaving us smiling from ear to ear but some changes at the tasty restaurant are marring a the flavor story.

For one, I ordered a half chicken about a month ago on a first date. When the waiter brought over two measly pieces of chicken, I told him that this wasn't the same half chicken I received on prior visits. Then the waiter was in a hurry to fix the plate.

And this time, the tacu-tacu came spooned into a bowl, like red beans and rice. Now tacu-tacu is essentially a mixture of beans and rice but it's supposed to be molded into little balls or dumplings and quickly fried to achieve a nice crunch. Without frying, the mixture won't hold it's shape. And without the shape, it is simply arroz y frijoles.

So we let the waiter know and he explained that some customers had been complaining that the tacu-tacu was too greasy. So listen here, suckers: if you don't want something greasy, order something else so you don't screw up tacu-tacu for the rest of us. And if you find something as divine as tacu-tacu to be too greasy, maybe you should think twice about eating rotisserie chicken.

Other than that, dinner was delicious as expected:

Cristal... still the fanciest beer you can sip!

Pollo a la brasa and the mistreated tacu-tacu mixture

ceviche mixto, yucca fries, and more tasty but shapeless tacu-tacu

Dear Executive Chef Martin Castillo, please return to the traditional tacu-tacu recipe and fry those dumplings!

psychic!

Remember these Star Wars cookie cutters? Remember how I wished that Williams-Sonoma would make another set with my favorite characters: R2D2, C3PO, Chewy, and an ewok? Well three out of four ain't bad!

early Christmas presents!

Bunny just happened to waltz into a Williams-Sonoma store - because that's how we roll - and spotted the third set of Star Wars cookie cutters exclusive to the overpriced kitchen lifestyle brand. She immediately thought of me... I'm so flattered!

So now I have the cuter set of Star Wars cookie cutters! It would be perfect if the jawa was replaced with an ewok but I am thrilled nevertheless. I will need to bake cookies soon, and it will be the perfect opportunity to break in this lovely orange apron from Tater. Do these girls know me or what?

I thought I was good at origami

until I spotted the holiday window display for Hermès on Grant at Maiden Lane...

a pegasus and a horse wrapped up in Hermès scarves

a paper creation so strong it can hold its own saddle

Leave it to the world's premier brand of luxury goods to show me how to fold animals out of paper!