new game

So yes, it turns out that the family in Lima did some serious remodeling since March and now they have a great big office in their house. With a computer. Connected to the Internet. WAES HAIL!

So I´ve been thinking about the wondrous place that is Peru and all the patterns I saw in my first visit that are resurfacing this time. And you know, whenever you see a lot of patterns, somebody decides to go and make a drinking game out of it, though usually these games arise out of the necessity to make something atrocious or fringe-alicious a bit more bearable to normal people. Hey, sometimes even well-loved phenomena get turned into drinking games.

Since Peru is a lovely country with so much to see and respect, so many happy people to talk to, and so much damn good food, this drinking game is created out of sheer reverence for the country that has everything - except a president we can agree on (nobody´s perfect.) So let me strike first for the Peru Drinking Game!

Now I could just kill you all with one simple rule...

1. Take a drink everytime I say "sí" because I don´t know what else to say.

But in order for this to really work, we´d need a video of everything I do in Peru, and with my low-tech skills, that´s just not going to happen. But I can edit this to apply to almost anyone´s adventure in Peru.

1. Take a drink everytime a man at the airport approaches you asking "¿Taxi?"
2. Take a drink everytime a little kid yells ¡Mira! And then you had better look at whatever the kid is pointing at.
3. Take a drink everytime a nice old lady refuses your ayuda because she can handle it herself.
4. Take a drink everytime your food comes with potatoes.
5. Take a drink everytime you pass by a polleria, a restaurant that serves the famous pollo a la brasa. You should eat some, too.
6. Take a drink everytime somebody says the food is rico or riquissimo. No one says "delicioso" in Peru. NO ONE.
7. Take a drink everytime you see somebody drinking Inka Kola (it´s a yellow-colored bubblegum-flavored soda, hard to miss.) I´m guessing that it´s an acquired taste and I certainly haven´t acquired it. Feel free to wash it down with chicha morada.
8. Take a drink everytime you think your driver is going to get into a car accident. Don´t worry, he won´t.
9. Take a drink everytime you go over a speed bump.
10. Take a drink everytime you see someone wearing a plastic poncho at Machu Picchu, Aguas Calientes, Ollantaytambo, or Cuzco.
11. Finish the drink if it is a poncho made of alpaca wool!
12. Take a drink everytime you see someone wearing a wool cap with earflaps. They´re quite common, also knit of alpaca wool, and usually come in awesome neon colors. They´re not a bad souvenir.
13. Finish your drink anytime you see someone collapse from altitude sickness (common at Lake Titicaca and Machu Picchu.)
14. Take a drink everytime a strange man calls you amor preciosa or hits on you obvious enough that you know he´s hitting on you (sorry, this rule will almost always apply to ladies only.)
15. Finish your drink if, after saying you have a boyfriend in America, he asks if you would like a Peruvian boyfriend.
16. Take a drink everytime a taxi driver or taxibike honks at you, whether it´s to get out of the way (drivers are impatient here) or holler.
17. If you´re visiting the north of Peru (Trujillo and up) take a drink everytime someone says cheliamos. Appropriately enough, it means "we drink beer."
18. Take a drink anytime your tour guide says that the number one industry in the local area is now tourism, and feel guilty about it!
19. Take a drink everytime a couple ogles you at the Parque del Amor in Miraflores District, Lima.

Hmm, that´s it for now. I´ll have to add some rules for Trujillo and the Amazon later but it already looks like any willing player is going to end up one borracho loco.